Return Policies: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

When you buy something, either consciously or subconsciously you are weighing the risks vs. the rewards. Shopaholics rationalize all the time about purchases. ALL the time! This is why it's super important to pay attention to store return policies - because you are not always in your rational state of mind, and not every company has one as uber-liberal as Nordstrom (you know, the one legends were born from?) Did we not learn anything from Greg Brady's mistake when he bought his first car, a total lemon, and was warned, "caveat emptor" - let the buyer beware?! Back in the day, there were actually life lessons to be learned from TV shows, and if you are old enough to have learned them good for you! But I digress...

I have learned to always ask the question "so what's your return policy on this?" They are not offering up any free advice in this area, because they don't want you to return the darned thing at all, and they will give you a hard time if you are outside the "window of opportunity".

Here's my tip list on returns:

1) ALWAYS ask what the policy is (yes, I said this before, I know, but it's like SO important)
2) ALWAYS keep all your receipts - ALL of them - in a file somewhere until you are sure you never, ever, ever need it again (you wore the shirt to shreds and it's going in the garbage - you can deposit the receipt right along with it!) This is very important tip, I swear.
3) Frequent the same stores and make friends with a cool sales person. MAKE FRIENDS! Like, tell them about yourself, ask them how their dog is, look at pics from their last vacation - whatever. If you find someone cool who "gets" you, they will make your shopping trips so much more enjoyable and will pull strings for you when you really need it. Like when the $1,000 pair of Chloe boots you bought are tearing your feet apart after one day and you have decided that walking for the rest of your life is more important than the cuteness factor of the boots. You are going to need your sales person to "handle" it just like Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction.
4) If you need to exchange, call as soon as possible to make sure they have the size you need. Nordstrom will search the ends of the earth to find something for you and ship it FREE.
5) Try not to buy things you are going to return.

A store I just hate shopping at because of their ridiculous return policy is BCBG Max Azria. You cannot get your money back (unless it's defective which has definitely happened to me with their clothes on a number of occasions). You can only get store credit. I have been carrying around a $150 BCBG credit for nearly 2 years because I am so over their stuff. I am hoping that one day they will wake up, realize what is going on in the market, and make their return policy competitive with (mostly) every other retailer. That's both BAD and UGLY.

HAPPY SHOPPING TRIPPING!

Oh How Nordstrom Taunts Me!

A few weeks ago, I opened a beautifully designed and produced November Nordstrom catalog entitled "captivating luxuries". I should have stopped right there, however the book was so compelling that I did not. I had to see...

On the very first page was a ring, this ring. Its description: one-of-a-kind ring with oval natural fancy pink (yes, PINK!!) diamond (3.25 ct. t.w.), round brilliant diamonds (.89 ct. t.w.) and two half-moon diamonds (.87 ct. t.w.) with rose-gold accents. Exclusively ours. $195,000.

What was the first thing that jumped into my mind? "Where the hell can I get $195K to buy this ring!"

Oh, yes it did.

Needless to say, there was no answer short of selling my apartment and living on the street (because my parents abandoned my brother and me for south Jersey - but that's a story for another day - and no, I cannot live with my brother), which anyone with any sense at all knows is not a brilliant idea. Neither was moving to south Jersey, but again, a story for another day.

ANYHOO, I just wanted to let the world know that although I am COMPLETELY obsessed with this ring, and it has my name written all over it (not Shoppergirl, but my real name), I will not be able to purchase it due to extenuating circumstances.

BTW, Nordstrom did not post this ring on their site, nor the rest of the Jack Kelege collection in the book, which I think is a huge mistake. How do they know that someone with an Amex Black card isn't searching around online looking for something just like this to buy for Christmas or Hannukah? Hell, maybe they want to buy it for me!

To dream the impossible dream...

BLOOMINGDALES.com ON SALE - up to 25% OFF (almost) ANYTHING! Ends Dec. 2nd

Spend up to $299 and you'll get 20% off. Spend $300 or more and get 25% off! Use code PS1129. Includes sale merchandise, but exclusions do apply so read the fine print before filling up your shopping bag.

NIKE & COLE HAAN - What a Great Couple! Plus 20% Off!

I sometimes think that shoe designers have contests to see how insanely painful they can make women's shoes. Either that, or they design them as what I like to call "limo shoes" - put shoes on, get in the limo, get out of the limo, get back in the limo, go home, take shoes off. Yeah, uh huh...

Whoever at Cole Haan or Nike thought of combining Nike Air technology with Cole Haan's gorgeous and classic shoes should be granted a Nobel Prize for Foot Comfort, seriously. They are simply a genius. It's a simple concept, and those are usually the most successful ones (K.I.S.S. I love to say!) Perhaps it was inevitable considering Cole Haan is owned by Nike - or not considering how rampant corporate turf wars can be. Who cares - all that matters is they exist! I am thrilled to say I now own these little beauties and I cannot wait to wear them! (Or RUN in them if I so desire :))




ColeHaan.com is having a 20% off EVERYTHING promotion through Sunday the 2nd with code HOLIDAY. It seems they are kind of hiding this promotion on the product pages for whatever reason, but it's there and it's a great time to stock up!

RUN, DON'T WALK!

CALLING ALL RALPH FANS! 30% OFF!

A wonderful friend of mine just shared this Friends and Family event for Ralph Lauren! Get 30% off full-price Ralph Lauren and RUGBY stores and RalphLauren.com through December 10th. There's a lot of fine print so read carefully. GO NUTS!!

Friends & Family Holiday Shopping Event
Full-price Ralph Lauren and RUGBY stores and RalphLauren.com
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 20 – MONDAY, DECEMBER 10
ENJOY 30% OFF
Event Guidelines:
• Friends & Family will receive a 30% discount at domestic
Ralph Lauren, RRL and Rugby Stores and RalphLauren.com
only. This discount is not valid at Polo Ralph Lauren Factory
Stores, department or specialty stores or the privately owned
Ralph Lauren store in Sacramento.
• Friends & Family downloads will be available through
PoloExpress. Coupons can be printed or emailed with
information about receiving the discount at stores or
RalphLauren.com
• Previous purchases are not eligible for adjustments. Discount
does not apply to previously purchased merchandise and may
not be combined with any other offers.
• Alterations and shipping are subject to an additional charge.
• Telephone orders will not be accepted.
• Items that are out of stock during the event cannot be purchased
with this discount.
• Each Ralph Lauren store has the right, in its sole discretion, to
limit or restrict the quantity of items purchased with a coupon.
• Gift packaging available at store discretion during select times.
• Products not included in this offer:
Ralph Lauren Stores & Ralph Lauren.com
- Sale-Price Items (in-stores only)
- Gift Certificates & Gift Cards
- Fragrance
- Antiques / Vintage Product
- Pink Pony or any philanthropic product
Rugby Stores
- Gift Cards
- Patches
- Women’s Jewelry
- Vintage
- Coffee Table Books
When Using Friends & Family Coupons in Ralph Lauren and
RUGBY Stores:
• Employees must print their names and employee numbers on the
coupons before mailing to their guests. Coupons are not valid
without employee names and numbers. It is not necessary for an
employee to accompany guests to receive the discount.
• Original coupon must be forfeited at time of purchase.
Reproductions will not be accepted.
• Discount is good for bearer’s use only.
When Using Friends & Family PoloExpress Downloads in Ralph
Lauren and RUGBY Stores:
• Valid friends & family coupons downloaded or emailed from
PoloExpress will be accepted. Coupons must have the complete
barcode included in order to receive the discount.
• The coupon must be forfeited at time of purchase.
• Discount is good for bearer’s use only.
When shopping at RalphLauren.com:
• Simply enter promotional code HOL2007 at checkout at to
receive the discount at RalphLauren.com
• Order must be confirmed by 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time on
Monday, December 10, 2007.
• Applicable state sales tax and shipping charges will be added to
each order.
• Because of the exclusive nature of this event, we ask that you
return purchases from RalphLauren.com by mail using the
postage-paid return label provided with your order rather than at
Ralph Lauren stores.
• If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service at
888-475-7674.

SHOES WONDERFUL SHOES

I spoke briefly about my addictions earlier (refresher: food and shopping, not necessarily in that order), and I feel I need to add one (note: it won't be the last). This is one you've heard before from many women so it's not new as far as life in general goes, however it is new for me. It's not something I asked for or was aware was happening - it sort of just snuck up on me one day and BAM!

I have become addicted to shoes. Shoe-aholism.

Now I am not Imelda Marcos addicted, I only wish I had her budget and storage space, but just normal every-day person addicted. (OK, maybe not so normal.) I don't know when it started; like I eluded to earlier one day you're this normal, shoe-indifferent person, and the next day you are spending 2 hours on Nordstrom.com looking at EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF SHOES. Oh yeah, I am very picky about my shoes. I once spent two weeks hunting down these perfect little Marc Jacobs black crinkle patent wedge-heel peep-toe flats in my size. They are absolutely precious. I drove every Barneys and Barneys.com employee nuts. But I did not care - that is their job and I wanted those shoes.

I used to not care about shoes - I hated shoes. Hated shopping for them, hated wearing them, I had ugly shoes (I didn't know that then, but I surely know that now. Ignorance was bliss!).

So that brings me to today's shopping lesson - there are SO MANY shoe sites and pretty much all of them offer either free shipping or free shipping both ways! YAY! Because there are so many of them, it means price and service competition wars.

I personally am not a fan of Zappos - I find it a totally confusing mess. They must be giving stuff away because I just can't figure out how anyone finds anything on there. My favorites are Nordstrom of course, PiperLime.com, ColeHaan.com, FootCandyShoes, and now a new site I just found OnlineShoes.com. I'll be ordering these little pretties (and they are on SALE! SCORE!):



HAPPY SHOE SHOPPING!

Happy Holidays Internet! Bah Humbug!

It's the Internet Shopping Holiday today so I thought I should say a few words. Just a few though because I have to work, then go to school, and then try to get to bed before 1 am.

I am a little disappointed at how late all of my emails are arriving on this very special day. It's not like online retailers didn't know this was coming. Ebates started their double cash back promotion at 10 am PST. Who goes by PST? We in the east have been up for many hours at that point. I am also disappointed at the offers I am receiving. Mostly free shipping and the occasional 15% off is just not enough to get me excited and motivated to buy something I absolutely don't need.

So instead of whining about my utter disappointment in Cyber Monday thus far, I will share a few tips with you regarding getting the best bang for your buck online:

1) Join a loyalty program or two - MyPoints, Ebates and others have great benefits for shopping through them. Upromise let's you save money for college by either shopping through their site or registering your credit cards for qualifying offline purchases. Most of the airlines have a rewards site you can shop through to earn more miles. I have about 20,000 MyPoints points I am saving up to redeem for a lifetime supply of Starbucks cards!
2) Check for coupon/promo codes - you can go to Google and type in "(insert online retailer name) coupons" and you'll get a bunch of results. Or you can check some of these great coupon sites (they aren't pretty but they get the job done): Dealsea, CouponMountain, Dealtaker, and Fatwallet.
3) Sign up for emails - some merchants still give better deals to their subscriber base than to the general public so sign up for the email list and see what they offer.

GO CRAZY KIDS!!

HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Holiday shopping and I have a love/hate relationship. I love to shop, and I love to give gifts, but I greatly dislike trying to pick out gifts for other people. I don't buy into the saying "it's the thought that counts", because if you give someone something they do not like or will not use, that is all they are going to remember. "So and so gives the worst gifts! It's as if the don't know me at all!". I hate getting horrible gifts, and even more so I hate giving horrible gifts. It's a lot of pressure.

There are many phases of receiving a gift you hate -
1. what were they thinking?
2. what the heck am I supposed to do with this?
3. feelings of guilt because you hate the gift
4. who can I give this to that may like it and the giver will never find out? (I am not a re-gifter, I think that is horribly tacky. In this instance I simply mean "hey, I am never going to use this and I thought you might be able to")
5. in the instance it is simply too horrible to pass along, how long do I need to keep this dust-collector before I don't feel bad about throwing it out?

The worst part is that someone at some point in time (I believe many horrible gifts are actually tacky re-gifting I mentioned before) actually spent hard-earned money on the gift. So sad...

Throughout the year, there are definitely signs of what to buy your loved ones - little mentions of interests or desires that you make mental notes of to be tucked away and conveniently retrieved just at the perfect moment when you finally have time to shop for them. Funny how they are nowhere to be found when you are standing in the mall with credit card in hand. Then major stress sets in, because you are starting from scratch. And the clock is ticking.

So what's the solution? Gift cards? Yeah, I hate those, too. But people love getting them, like it's a get out of jail free card. "Yay! Now I can go buy something I actually want!" OK, that's understandable. However it does not satisfy the love of shopping, nor the love of gift giving. It kind of leaves you empty and hollow inside, instead of that warm fuzzy feeling when you know you picked just the right thing.

Oh, holiday shopping - how I love and hate it!

TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED/TECHNOLOGY ACCEPTANCE

I would like to start by saying I am technologically challenged. I know this, and I accept this. I know first hand how frustrating, nonsensical and infuriating technology can be because I work in online marketing, and have a laptop at home on a wireless network, with a wireless all-in-one printer, with iTunes, a digital camera, etc. that I set up all by myself. Over a week. Or two. There are some things in life that you simply need to accept to maintain your sanity. This is one of them. If you accept that no matter how "simple" the instructions claim it is, if only you "follow these three easy steps", that it is going to take you at least two hours of time investment for each "easy step", you will have conquered the first step to technology acceptance. (Subsequent steps involve restraining onself from strangling someone, and avoiding potential jail time, however I will not cover those here.)

What does this have to do with shopping, you ask? I am getting to that.

I decided that I would set up a wireless network at my parent's house because my father was incessantly nagging me while I work (either on school work or work work) to check his email. He is retired and mostly just forwards jokes, buys things on eBay, and other similar activities, so it's not like it's important stuff. But it is his house and his Internet connection, so my solution was a wireless network so we could all be online together as one happy family.

Here's the shopping part: I bought a wireless router.

I had already set one up at home, and it was, dare I say, pretty easy. Yeah...no such luck here. First I try to set it up by myself for a couple of hours following the "three easy steps" that made about as much sense as Sanskrit (that was Day 1). No dice. Day 2 I call Linksys. After an hour, Linksys tells me they have done all they can do and I need to call Verizon (oh yeah, my father has DSL - dramatically slower line - YUK!). So, I call Verizon. Now Verizon knows what model modem we have, the tech support person knows I am calling because I am trying to set up a Linksys wireless router, and we go through the motions. He promises that by the end of the call all my problems would be solved - no need for psychotherapy. Alas, an hour later it's kinda, sorta working. We hang up. Day 3 my father has to call Verizon for some issue, and I keep getting kicked off the wireless. He gets off the phone and says, "oh, by the way, you didn't need to buy a router because the modem is both a modem and a router". WHAAAAAA????!! Did I not speak to them just yesterday and they promised to solve all my problems? Again, no dice. I decide to take one last stab. I call Linksys. I threaten to return the router. He promises to solve all my problems, too. I tell him everyone is saying that to me and yet I still have problems. One hour later, I say thank you very much I am returning the router. I said more than that but we'll leave it there. He was a very nice guy, really. So I pack the router back up and call Verizon. Seriously, this is my last phone call. I could have raised a child and sent them off to college with all of the time and energy already invested in this.

Once again, the Verizon support person promises that all of my problems will be solved. I am not holding my breath. We go through a bunch of stuff, and about a half hour later it's a MIRACLE! It actually worked. My support person's supervisor wants to speak to me. OK, fine. (By the way, every single person I spoke to wanted to know how my Thanksgiving was (lovely, thank you, except for all this), how many people were coming, what did I make, which I find very nice considering they are all based in India where as you know they do not celebrate Thanksgiving). The supervisor wanted to make sure that I was happy and that all my problems were solved. Yes, I say, but why didn't the Verizon rep I spoke to yesterday not tell me that the modem was a router, too? Now that's a head scratcher. No explanation, however they are thrilled that all of my problems have been solved.

I am technologically challenged, and I have accepted that I will forever spend 1/4 of my life making my life's technology work.

TURKEY HANGOVER

I may be a shop-aholic, but I am also a food-aholic, and thankfully there is always food available where you shop. You'd think that because of this, that the Thanksgiving/Black Friday double-header would be my favorite time of year. In some ways it is, in some ways it isn't. I truly appreciate a holiday completely dedicated to eating, and definitely do my fair share. However, after preparing my from-scratch apple pies and cranberry sauce, stuffing myself silly, and the subsequent clean up period, I am way too tired, and not nearly crazy enough to participate in the brick and mortar Black Friday madness. I call this Black Friday Turkey Hangover, and it's not pretty.

So what's a shopping addict to do? Well, shop online of course! With all of the Black Friday deals to be had online, who needs to go to the store? Because you are never to hung over to shop online :) Here are some of my favorites:

Saks.com - Saks has a Thanksgiving Sale up to 60% off! Ends 11/23.
Bloomingdales.com - Bloomies will take an extra 40% off already reduced merchandise! Online only.
Kiehls.com - Get 20% off your order with promo code FRIDAY. In Kiehl's stores and online. Ends 11/26.
Lancome-usa.com - Get 20% off your order plus free shipping with promo code THANKS7. Online and in Lancome Boutiques. Product purchases only. Ends 11/26.
Neiman Marcus - Free Shipping on any order (ends 12/9) with code WINTER, plus Free Gift Wrap (ends 11/25). There are a lot of terms and conditions so you may want to read them all before ordering.
Nike.com - Free Shipping on ANY order with code SHIPTGE. Ends 11/28. Also save up to 30% off during their holiday sale!

ENJOY!!

HELLO!

In order to introduce myself into this blog-crazy world, and for you to get to know me better, I'd like to share the story of how I got my first job in online marketing. This is relevant because it has to do with online shopping, which generally is my more preferable shopping channel.

Time: Circa very late 1999 - very early 2000
Obsession: A pair of black leather, calf-high Via Spiga boots with the perfect heel height
Major Dilemma: Could not live without them

It all started when I spotted the perfect pair of Via Spiga boots in a store and they didn't have my size. Don't you just hate that?

Well, if this had been in, let's say 1996, what options were there? Not many, as we may all remember. Driving to 10 different malls and stores with our fingers crossed that the next one was going to be the one? Fun? Not so much.

Well, lucky for me it was late 1999 - early 2000 and this wondrous little thing called the INTERNET was really catching on like wild fire! It was just nuts! And what was the best thing on the Internet? GOOGLE!! OK, so I have to admit, it wasn't like I put the name of the boots in the search bar and voila! It was more like, how many different ways could I enter search phrases that would give me something *close* to what I wanted. And then, the patience to click on all those links, search the sites, to see if maybe, just maybe, my boots were there. Well finally, because I AM NOT A QUITTER, I found a store in some town in Florida I had never heard of, but I didn't really care because they had my boots in my size. Oh happy day!!

What on earth does this have to do with my first job in online marketing? Well, as you also may remember, that was the height of the dot-com bubble and I was in the midst of an early mid-life crisis involving a major career change. The Internet sounded like an interesting opportunity, so on my very first interview, which was with an online marketing company, I was asked the question "do you have any experience with the Internet?" Online talent was pretty sparse at that time as you can imagine. My answer? I told that story. That, my sparkling personality, intelligence, and kick-ass interview skills got me the job.

Whoever said shopping was not a productive, life-altering activity has no idea what they are talking about.